BY KAREN BOSSICK

Steph Wagner had it all figured out. A thriving career in investment banking and private equity, the kind of financial aptitude most people only dream about, and a goal of attending Harvard Business School. Then life happened.

Six months pregnant with her second child and a two-year-old at home, Wagner was asked to board a four-seater Cessna to check out a deal in rural Alabama. Her husband was traveling more than 150 nights a year. Something had to give.

"The very next day, I quit," Wagner said over a no-foam latte with sugar and cinnamon at a Sun Valley coffee shop. "I put my career on hold and, despite my financial aptitude, left all money matters to my husband."

What she didn't realize then, as a young mother and madly-in-love wife, was that those choices would cause her to relinquish her independence and become what she calls "a passive observer in my eventual financial downfall."

Thirteen years later, Wagner found herself divorced, jobless and a single mother of three.

"It was not your typical divorce by any stretch of the imagination," she said. "Literally one day everything was turned upside down. I was so devastated financially and emotionally."

But Wagner found a way not only to survive but to thrive. What’s more, she turned her story into a tutelage for others.

Wagner has told that story in her book "Fly! A Woman's Guide to Financial Freedom and Building a Life You Love.” And she will discuss it with Jenny Emery Davidson, executive director of The Community Library, at 5:30 p.m. tonight--Thursday, July 23--at the Library.

Wagner, who recently made Sun Valley her fulltime home, has been writing her book in some form since 2012, just months after her world imploded.

"I knew I wanted to tell my story," she said. "But, more than just a memoir, I wanted to take a reader through what it takes to rebuild, or what it takes to create, that solid financial foundation."

The book lays out seven steps to building a healthier relationship with money, starting with what Wagner considers the most overlooked step of all — the emotional side.

"Why did I lean out? Why did I stop paying attention? Why did I turn everything over to my husband?" she said. "The why behind that began my journey. If I don't unpack why, I'll repeat the same behavior again."

The numbers she cites are sobering. Nine out of 10 women believe they lack the confidence to invest the way men do. The average age of widowhood in this country is 59. Eight out of 10 women will have to navigate their financial lives alone at some point. And over the next 30 years, the number of people living beyond 100 will increase 400 percent — with nearly 70 percent of them being women.

"Are we prepared for that?" Wagner asked.

She recalls a man who came up to her after a speaking event about women's economic independence. He thanked her and said that all those years he thought he was doing his wife a favor by shouldering the financial burden, telling her to go enjoy being a mom while he handled the money. After hearing Wagner's presentation, he realized that statistically something could happen to him, and his wife would have to navigate everything alone.

"He said, 'We're going to go home and we're going to change this,' " Wagner recounted. " 'I want to help her learn. I want to help her know.' "

Wagner is quick to point out that her book is really a women's empowerment book disguised as a finance book. One of the biggest myths about money, she said, is that it's hard and complicated.

"It's not that complicated," she said. "If you can add, subtract, multiply and divide, and you can read, you got this."

She talks about opportunity cost in terms anyone can grasp. That $150 dinner out every week, that daily coffee habit — have you ever stopped to calculate what those dollars would become if invested, instead, over 15 years?

"Money doubles every 10 years if you let it," she said. "If you invest it at a certain percentage."

Wagner lights up when she tells the story of a woman in one of her group sessions who inherited a business after her father died. The woman was running the company, feeling the weight of every employee's livelihood on her shoulders, and she wasn't happy. When Wagner had her complete an assessment about what brought her joy, the woman broke down in tears. Learning, creativity and helping people topped her list. Leading was dead last.

"She was like, 'Oh my gosh, do I have to quit? Do I have to sell the business?' " Wagner said. "Of course not. But you have to look at your life as a wheel. You're so out of balance. You need to add things into your life."

It wasn't about blowing everything up. It was about making subtle shifts — volunteering for Dress for Success, incorporating philanthropy into the business, creating outlets for fulfillment beyond the boardroom.

"I think so often we start going and going and going, and we wake up and we're like--wait a minute, how did I get to this point in my life?" Wagner said. "We're so busy living for other people and taking care of everybody else, we don't take care of ourselves."

Wagner currently serves as National Director of Women & Wealth at Northern Trust, one of the largest financial institutions in the country, where she leads the firm's advisory practice for women and its Elevating Women platform.

Before that, she co-founded Sendero Women & Wealth and built a national consulting practice advising high-net-worth women navigating divorce or widowhood. Her insights have been featured in The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, Bloomberg, Barron's and Forbes, among others.

Wagner recorded the audiobook herself in an Austin studio over four days, a full-circle moment since so much of her story unfolded in Autin. She had to audition for the privilege of reading her own book — Audible is strict about narrators — and remembers being in Stanley, Idaho, when she got the call that she'd been selected.

"I just started crying," she said.

Wagner recently moved to Sun Valley from Austin to be with her partner, who introduced her to the valley about a year and a half ago.

"For me, it's much more me," she said of the move. "I am all about the outdoors. I love being able to walk outside and not be inside. And, I think as we age, it's so important to stay open and curious and try new things. This town offers that."

She plans to donate a portion of proceeds from book sales at tonight’s event back to The Community Library, inspired by the pioneering women who founded it.

"I want people to know that financial independence isn't just about numbers," Wagner said. "It's a mindset. It's about owning your life, financially and emotionally. It's about taking personal responsibility and saying: No one is better equipped to know what I need and what I should do than me."

"Fly! A Woman's Guide to Financial Freedom and Building a Life You Love" is available on Amazon, Audible and at Barnes & Noble.